Archive for the ‘My Soapbox’ Category

Fictional Storytellers wanted – Apply Nokia Support

21 Aug

Yesterday, I wrote an article about the issues Im having with Nokia Support(

I sent them the link as a Tweet, kinda hoping for at least a response, but got nothing – so I called them today at 16:14 to see that was happening.


After the usual security questions, I explained id been waiting for a couple of days for a callback.  Apparently, the agent had tried to call (no record on mobile or house phone) but was off today, and hes the only one in the whole of Nokia that can answer my question.  This is not acceptable, so I pushed for why the phone was returned un-repaired.


The first answer I got was that the phone was damaged when received. Well after 6 trips by courier that wouldn’t surprise me, but I have the phone back remember, and its not physically damaged at all (lie).  I explain this was a made up answer, and asked to speak to a supervisor – after a 20 min hold, I got the same lady back who said she had checked and the IMEI had been blocked by my network operator.

Utter fiction again of course, remember the phone alternates between a signal and no signal, which means that for some of the time its connected and working. I ask the lady to stay on the line while I call my network operator, who, of course, confirm my assessment – both of the IMEI blocking (only if I report the phone as stolen) and of the utter nonsense being spouted by Nokia.  Nokia by the way didn’t stay on the line – past their home time, having now taken 45 minutes to get to this point.  I assume she hopes someone else will pick up the call in the morning – and ill have to start all over again.


What Nokia don’t know is that I have a way of telling if they have even looked at the phone, or powered it up. They haven’t, simply shipped back in the same container it arrived in. Ok Nokia may have looked at it but its been hardly touched, let alone tested (wonders of fingerprint tracking) – or are you going for the hat trick of lies and claim differently.


I bet when I call next, Nokia will have forgotten everything – including what lies they have told and will no doubt contradict themselves and even make up new lies to do anything but making a customer happy. Maybe they have targets on the number of annoyed, lied to customers – certainly feels like it.


The very best thing Nokia could do right now, is call me before I call them tomorrow – use the mobile number you have – ill even include it here.   07881 785909

The 2nd best thing they can do is send me a new handset. Another 920 or a 925 (ill pay the difference).

Bet you do neither Nokia.  Booo!



Nokia Phone Saga

20 Aug

Chapter 4 – The Out of warranty clause

Nokia, you are a reputable phone company, so why do you insist on treating your customers as dumb?

I have been a big proponent of Windows Phone. I had one on day 1 it was released. I’ve presented to usergroups and to groups of my peers about its virtues. I taken mockery from those with fruit as phones, and from those who think the droids people are looking for are all called Ann.

My first WP7 phone was an LG-900, fantastic device, served well, but then 2 things happened Nokia entered the game and Windows Phone 8 arrived.

naturally being someone to shout about WP7, I was going to do the same for WP8, so I exchanged gold coins for a new My Precious, a Nokia Lumina 920.


Now, ignoring the fact the Microsoft screwed up the Music aspect of Windows Phone 8 (don’t get me started on Podcasts, and the MS recommendation to use iTunes), I was pleased with the device.

Now, fast forward with that wooshy effect used in films, to early July 2013. My world ended. My Nokia 920 wasn’t working.

No Signal, Some Signal, No Signal, Some Signal. There would be 3 or 4 bars on the signal meter, until you tried to make a call, and you’d get a no service. Put the phone down and the bars come back. The 920 was being a tease, tempting me to think all was ok, but annoying enough to think Jeremy Beadle was hiding around somewhere.


Nokia support was summoned, and a quick form filling in on the web executed. A nice man from UPS turned up and my phone makes its way to the Phone hospital in the sky (well, Thetford). Two days later, the same UPS guy is back with my phone. As I sign for it, he tells me not to hold my breath, that hes seen enough of these boxes to know its a phone, and that its been to Thetford, and that his next collection is round the corner from me for another phone whose trips to Thetford is now in double digits. Now Thetford might be nice, but I cant see a phone wanting to visit that often if it had a choice..


Naturally, I smile politely and completely ignore him, far too eager to lay my hands on My Precious again. I open the package like a 43 year old Dad ‘helping’ his son on Christmas morning, and there she is all 5 inches of her. I remove my SIM from behind the clock on the mantlepiece and gently insert it into the 920. Power on. I hold my breath for the few seconds it takes to power up. There it is… Signal ! 😉


No Signal, Signal, No Signal. It has taken me approximately 45 seconds from power on to determine that the fault is still there. Nokia, you said you tested this. How?


Oh well, now as disappointed as discovering that the present is really a garish itchy jumper from your Gran, I contact Nokia, who, full of apologies arrange another trip to Thetford.


3 days later and the 920 is back. It had seen all to be seen in Thetford and had returned without even sending me a postcard. Never mind, nice to have a working phone back, I tell the UPS man. He smiles and shakes his head – “Unlikely” he said… Again, I tend to ignore him. Nokia cant POSSIBLY be THAT INCOMPETENT.  But hes right, its still exactly the same fault, diagnosed in as few seconds as before.


The Thetford travel hotline, known as Nokia support, apologies profusely, I get a couple of callbacks while they investigate. The phone gets an third, all expenses paid trip to Thetford. I send it off with a YouTube video of the problem and a note saying exactly how I know there’s still a fault, that I have another Lumina to compare it with so I know what I’m expecting.  Now, I suppose things can go wrong, even in companies like Nokia. They just CANT be THAT INCOMPETENT to screw it up a third time.


So when the UPS GUY turns up with my phone again – that’s 6 visits to my house, people will start to talk, my wife signs for the package.  I open it, take the phone out, and read the piece of paper that says…


“We have examined your Nokia handset; unfortunately we were unable to repair it as it has suffered damage that is not covered by the warranty. You may still get it repaired of warranty by taking it to a Nokia care point….. This option may incur costs.”


I can only imagine that the various trips to Thetford have finally driven the 920 mad. I know its annoyed the heck out of me. Nokia dont say whats wrong, nor what the damage is, unless I pay for it. Nokia, WHAT are you PLAYING AT? I’m now left waiting for another callback from you….


To summarize, its been 3 attempts and  39 days since I had a working Nokia phone.

All Nokia seem to do is re flash the phone and post it back to me, with no obvious testing or checking, as I’ve found the fault quickly on return.

UPS are making a fortune out of Nokia, more than would pay for a new phone.

I have another Lumina so I know what to expect, Nokia apparently, doesn’t.

Nokia don’t always behave this stupidly. Others have gotten a replacement easily (


meantime, the LG-900 has been working well during this time, its kept me sane, and I still like the windows Phone 7 interface.  LG, do you make a Windows Phone 8?